If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
