i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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