he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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