I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
