Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He has the fingertips of a God
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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