i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
