So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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