I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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