Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
