ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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