Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
