$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
