guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
