I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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