i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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