I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
