next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Fuck appropriateness.
i dont even know how to be here
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
How does one acquire holy water?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
