Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
