once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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