fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
