Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
