I need help removing her.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
