hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize