I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
