She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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