I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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