how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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