nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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