dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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