Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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