hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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