Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
