he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
