you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
