I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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