i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
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