i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Randomize
