Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
