You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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