I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
