normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
