porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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