we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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