In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize