this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
