You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
