He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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