the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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