What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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