so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
