Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Enjoy the penises
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
soo... how was my night?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
