Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
