i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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