Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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