Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i think i have two assholes
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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