Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
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