when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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