I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
