so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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