He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
