i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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