You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
