Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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