Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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