This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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