You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
