I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
