dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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