my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
