Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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